Wow.

Hey guys. Its been absolutely forever since I posted. I'm so sorry. So, a quick one paragraph update to tell you whats been going on in my horsey life for the past 5 months.

Well, I sold Buck. For $300. Now the person who has him is trying to sell him as a kids horse. Idiot. I told them he's dangerous. I'm so upset at them...but at the same time super glad that he's gone. (And get this, they're trying to sell him for $2,500. Crazy, they'll never get that much for him.) This summer, I was riding Nick, a horse at my barn, and he galloped off with me. I immediately lost all confidence...this summer was horrible for me. I had no confidence whatsoever because of that incident. Now, however, I'm pretty much better. Not fearless like I used to be, more timid, but not freaking out either. I've decided that I want to event. I love jumping, it's my passion. However, just today, this happened:

Really bad news.

So I went to my lesson today. Apparently like, everybody except me and this other girl in my lesson got bumped up to the more advanced lesson, where they focus on jumping. So of course, I was was upset, and jealous...I didn't say anything though. Kris [my trainer] had me and the other girl, Analisa, ride WESTERN. Apparently, she wants me to start riding western for a while, and get my confidence back and stop my leg from flying all over the place. [I guess she wants us to do stuff like rollbacks and stuff....which sounds extremely fun but I want to JUMP.] Then, she told me, after I asked if I would ever get to be in the more advanced jumping class, that 'it was possible, but not for a while.' She told me I wasn't being demoted or anything, and that she's been losing sleep over what to do with me, but she doesn't think eventing is going to be my thing. She doesn't even want me to do freaking hunter/jumper! SHE WANTS ME TO FOCUS ON DRESSAGE. I hate dressage...not a ton, its fine for every once in a while, but I want to JUMP. She said that 'I'm not saying your never going to jump again, but I'm not saying when either.' I'm so upset. I want to jump...not ride western. It was fun to do it for just once, but she wants us to focus on that for a while! I'm like, bawling. I really really want to jump. I'd do ANYTHING to get into that jumping class, ANYTHING. I don't know what to do....I think I'm going to have my mom call and talk to her. What do you think I should do? My mom wants us to switch barns, because Kris isn't really considering what I want to do with my horsey life, but I don't want to switch because I love my barn, and as much as Kris confuses me right now, she's the best trainer I've ever had and I love her. Ugh, I'm so confused and hurt. =[

So much for one paragraph, huh?